Pregnant? Don’t ask!

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Some friends and I were hanging out at my house in La Jolla on Saturday, the plan was to grill up some steaks, have some drinks and be merry. After a couple of drinks, and a few hours, we all decided to throw the food back into the freezer and go get some food.

We walked on up to the local bar to get some dinner and have a couple more drinks. This is where the night ended. We sat down on the patio, at a plastic table and started ordering drinks from the menu. Our waitress was a cute girl with an average figure.

That is when it happened, my close friend, and great orator, asked the waitress; “DO YOU HAVE A BUN IN THE OVEN?”

Now, she wasn’t anorexic, but she wasn’t fat either. Apparently, Ricky overheard someone else at the table mention, “she could drink whole milk” (from Napolean Dynomite), he assumed she was pregnant, and that is where the night went downhill. The waitress started crying and Ricky started trying to save face. At that point I excused myself from the table and headed away from the drama (this is not surprise, I always do an about face when there is drama).

I came back after a shot and a beer at the bar and the waitress was still standing there staring at Ricky with watery eyes and Ricky was still trying to talk his way out of it. It was a tough situation. Ricky sank into his plastic chair and did his best to make the very sensitive waitress feel better about her body and the waitress towered over Ricky looking down on him, wondering how he made it this far in life without already learning this lesson.There was no getting out of it.

The life lesson here, don’t ever ask a women if she is pregnant until she tells you she is pregnant! At that point, if she tells you she is going to have a baby, the proper response could be “wow, I knew you were glowing!” or “I can’t even tell, you look great!”

Poor Ricky….Poor waitress.

One thought on “Pregnant? Don’t ask!

  1. Chubby women need to get a clue, if someone is so inclined as to ask if they are pregnant, that person may really be interested. Why put them on the spot, and god forbid, start crying, all because you have some kind of personal issue with Twinkies and Oprah. Sometimes pregnant women glow, sometimes they are skinny, sometimes their breasts get big and bouncy, and sometimes they have a way about themselves that can’t be explained. Asking someone if they are blessed with seed of new life could mean many other things than if they can fit there ass in a size 9. “Poor Ricky” is right on the money. The Waitress needs to get a freaking clue and maybe lay off the Whole Milk if she is going to freak out every time a customer inquires about her appearance.

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