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Yeah, this is going to be a hate post. I am so fucking annoyed with quote PROFESSIONALS end quote that charge thousands of dollars for their services (filing paperwork required by the federal and state governement) yet still leave all the responsibility on the business owner. Seriously people, what the hell is going on here!
I have such a long laundry list of assholes that don’t do what I pay them to do I don’t even know where to start. Sure, this has been going on for years, but as a business owner you just let it slide because you are, novel concept here, trying to run your business!
That is why I hired the professional in the first place. Ok, I don’t want to jump through the hoops of government paperwork, filings, taxes, employee benefits, workers compensation, balance sheets, income reports so I am willing to pay thousands of dollars for someone to do them for me. Thousands of dollars paid to an ‘accountant’ to do my ‘accounting’ should leave me sitting pretty and free to run my business right?
Nope, the only difference is that now the the new accountants bills start coming and I have another person asking me for clarification and more fucking reports. But now, I have to work harder for my business to make more money because I am paying someone new.
The bottom line is that no accountant or lawyer I have ever worked with can make it easy on you despite the money you pay them. Regardless of what I have spent on expensive assholes in fancy suits I have always needed to learn how taxes work, how business filings work, how workers comp works, how payroll taxes work, how balance sheets work etc to even figure out what to send back to the accountants. So wait, what the fuck am I paying you for again?
Right now, I am being scrutinized by an accountant that can’t explain exactly what information they need from me in order to build a balance sheet for my business. After 4 emails and two associates at their firm, they still can’t send me the spreadsheet I originally requested with a list of items they need from me along with associated costs. Basically, I want to be able to fill in all the blanks and let my accountant connect the dots and create a beautiful report that I can give to my expensive, over charging lawyer. Nope, four fucking emails over 10 days (of course they don’t respond same day) and I still haven’t left the starting line. I get infuriated every time I get an email back not answering my questions with more questions from them that aren’t even full questions.
For example, they write: “In order to put together a balance sheet, we are going to need a list of your assets and liabilities etc”.
Really? What the fuck is etc?
So, finally, while my beautiful daughter Sydney is taking a nap I decide to do a Google search for the search term: Open Office Balance Sheet Template and low and behold, there is a professional balance template for Open Office! Whoa, WTF! It has to be harder than that, right? I’ll do a little more research. Google search #2:what goes in a balance sheet?
You have to be kidding me, really? There is a detailed list of everything that needs to go into a balance sheet AND there is a list of all the terms and their associated definition.
I was going to pay an accountant hundreds of dollars to put one of these things together for me so I can keep doing my job for my clients, and here it is right here? By the time my accountant asks the right questions I will be done this fucking thing and Uncle Sam or Tio Sam down here in Puerto Rico is one step closer to sinking another successful business because of all of the paperwork they require. This brings us to another gripe of mine, the government red tape required to run a business which is why I have to deal with all these fuck sticks in the first place.
It is almost not worth running a legitimate business in this country (Puerto Rico and the USA) becuse of all the paper work and taxes required. I don’t need to work for anyone else, I have been working for myself for 10 years now yet, despite my entrepreneurial mind constantly paying my bills, the governments bullshit paperwork and tax schemes are constantly dragging me down. It’s no wonder the economy in the US sucks right now. Businesses like mine pay the rich to get richer by filing my bullshit paperwork for us and lawyers to represent our interests because the system is just too time intensive to jump into on our own. Really, the bottom line for all this is that I am smart enough to do my own accounting, smart enough to navigate the federal governments labyrinth of quarterly filings, annual filings and the states required monthly filings, but that would be a full time job for me and I am not a paper work filer. I am an entrepreneur! Right now, I would like to move my business offshore and never deal with this bullshit again. I hate you (but not you).