Monthly Archives: September 2005

Stupid People Tricks

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I got another one of thse emails with all kinds of useless information, that for some reason, I found very entertaining:

In the 1400’s a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to
beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have “the
rule of thumb”

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was
ruled “Gentlemen Only…Ladies Forbidden”…and thus the word GOLF
entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV
was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US
Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear
better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to
work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get
this…)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:
$6,400

The average number of people airborne over the US any given
hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National
Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king
from history:

Spades – King David
Hearts – Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds – Julius Caesar

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front
legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front
leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in
battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July
4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2,
but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular
boat name requested?
A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to
go until you would find the letter “A”?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers,
and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?
A. Honey

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of
the year?
A. Father’s Day

In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by
ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the
bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase……… “goodnight, sleep
tight.”

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for
a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his
son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because
their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month; which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old
England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at
them “Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.”
It’s where we get the phrase “mind your P’s and Q’s”

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked
into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a
refill, they used the whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the
phrase inspired by this practice.

………………………………………….

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd
waht I was
rdgnieg.The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to
rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are,
the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat
ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can
sitll raed it wouthit a
porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not
raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their
elbow

Pregnant? Don’t ask!

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Some friends and I were hanging out at my house in La Jolla on Saturday, the plan was to grill up some steaks, have some drinks and be merry. After a couple of drinks, and a few hours, we all decided to throw the food back into the freezer and go get some food.

We walked on up to the local bar to get some dinner and have a couple more drinks. This is where the night ended. We sat down on the patio, at a plastic table and started ordering drinks from the menu. Our waitress was a cute girl with an average figure.

That is when it happened, my close friend, and great orator, asked the waitress; “DO YOU HAVE A BUN IN THE OVEN?”

Now, she wasn’t anorexic, but she wasn’t fat either. Apparently, Ricky overheard someone else at the table mention, “she could drink whole milk” (from Napolean Dynomite), he assumed she was pregnant, and that is where the night went downhill. The waitress started crying and Ricky started trying to save face. At that point I excused myself from the table and headed away from the drama (this is not surprise, I always do an about face when there is drama).

I came back after a shot and a beer at the bar and the waitress was still standing there staring at Ricky with watery eyes and Ricky was still trying to talk his way out of it. It was a tough situation. Ricky sank into his plastic chair and did his best to make the very sensitive waitress feel better about her body and the waitress towered over Ricky looking down on him, wondering how he made it this far in life without already learning this lesson.There was no getting out of it.

The life lesson here, don’t ever ask a women if she is pregnant until she tells you she is pregnant! At that point, if she tells you she is going to have a baby, the proper response could be “wow, I knew you were glowing!” or “I can’t even tell, you look great!”

Poor Ricky….Poor waitress.

Surfing San Diego

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I had the usual busy day at work today, but I worked out of Carlsbad. It gave me the chance to catch some of the south swell hitting San Diego. Good Surfing. It was solid head heigh dredging low tide barrells. Surfing San Diego isn’t so bad…

The current was pulling hard out of the south. My first session, at high tide, pulled me down about 15 blocks in an hour. Tonight wasn’t quite so bad. There was much more form, although it was still quite a bit walled up, and much cleaner. The current kept the crown pretty spread out and there were waves coming in for everyone.

The San Diego Surf report was calling for fun surf, and it was an accurate surf report. Clean, 3-5ft and spitting barrells.

Washington DC – Lincoln

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Summer and I spent the weekend in Washing DC. Unfortunately, her camera crapped out and we were stuck with just pictures of us, friends and family. Our pictures of the monuments are gone forever, and if weren’t for my handy Trea 650 with its built in camera, all photos of the monument would have been lost.


This is a shot of the Lincoln Memorial

As Summer said in her blog, Lincoln looks bored. Could you imagine after a life full of mental judo, fighting the radical thoughts of the deeply conservative Republican party, drafting the Emancipation Proclamation (January 1, 1863), having to sit on a peace of marble for the rest of eternity? Yes Summer, Abraham Lincoln is bored.

Indo Boat Trip – Mahalo 2

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My Indo Boat Trip… Mahalo 2

It was a long trip. My flight to Indonesia for my surf trip took me almost two full days. I know I sound like I am whining, but if you want to take a surf trip to Indonesia, get ready for some flight time.

If you have some money, I would suggest finding a non-stop flight from Las Angeles to Singapore. This flight takes 17 hours but is direct.

Back to my trip….

My first leg took me from Las Angeles California to Tai Pai via Singapore Airlines. From Tai Pai, I flew to Singapore. Before I was lucky enough to get on that flight, I had a 4 hour layover in the Tai Pai airport. Not quite enough time to check out the local fare, but plenty of time to walk around and stretch after the first leg of the journey. Singapore was a quick layover, only two hours. From there, I was off to Bali. Bali is in Indonesia and has some epic surf spots: Uluwatu, Dreamland, Impossible’s…just to name a few.

I decided to stay in Bali for a couple of days. Good call.

From Bali we flew to Kupang in East Timor. East Timor is apart of Indonesia so make sure you buy a 30 day visa on your way through Bali, not just a 10 day visa or you’ll get smacked with a huge fine, like me.

From Kupang, the crew of the Mahalo 2 picked us up and drove us to the harbor where the Mahalo 2 was moored. Two skiff’s cruised out and picked us up, one boat for us and one boat for all of our surfboards.

This was the beginning of my Indo Boat Trip… Mahalo 2